Purity
by Esum Amla
Summary: Hyugacentric. A character study of Hyuga Hizashi and the influences that shape the man. A companion story for Legacy. Rated for language.


A/N: Years! Years, I tell you! That is how long it took me to finish this story. :) Its a companion piece to Legacy and because Legacy is one of my favorites, I was strongly invested in finishing this story. I freely admit this story was difficult for me to write and I have mixed feelings about the finished product. Regardless, I hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Purity

by Esum Amla

The baby's cries woke him from a fitful sleep.

Before his mind fully registered he was awake, his body was already going through the motions of rising out of bed and maneuvering in the dark around his discarded gear and baby toys with the weary ease of one who had done the action many times before. In the beginning, he stubbed his toes numerous times in his haste to get up, unaccustomed to the erratic sleeping patterns of babies. But being a ninja of the Hidden Leaf Village, Hyuga Hizashi adjusted quickly to the demands and his toes thanked him for it.

He didn't know how the women did it, he thought tiredly as he looked down into the bassinet where his baby boy wailed (because the child had a healthy pair of lungs for being such a small thing, he could give him that). Every night without fail—it was wearing him out.

"There, there, Neji," he cooed softly as he picked up the baby and started to gentle rock him. "It's all right now. I'm here. Daddy's here."

The baby hiccupped and his distressing cries died down considerably but Hizashi knew that it would only be a short reprieve unless he got the baby's bottle so he quickly made his way towards the kitchen.

It was moments like these where he begrudgingly acknowledged that being the brother of the Clan Head had its perks. Branch members typically had to make do with a community kitchen but Lord Hiashi ordered his brother and nephew moved into private quarters near the Main House. Hizashi couldn't exactly tell the Head of the Hyuga Clan 'thanks but no thanks' but he had wished his brother hadn't gone through the trouble. The last thing he wanted for his son was to be ostracized not only by the Main House but from the Branch as well because of a perceived special treatment.

But that was far from his mind as he fed his little Neji. The baby suckled happily from the bottle while Hizashi sat in one of the kitchen chairs. The father smiled tenderly, marveling at the tiny person in his arms and the undeniably fact that this child was his.

_His. His own!_ Hizashi instinctually held the baby closer at the thought.

His gaze turned towards the window and he caught sight of the full moon. It would be a long day tomorrow. He had a meeting with the Hokage and then various responsibilities around the village. Thankfully, he didn't have to worry about missions but that would soon change. It helped that he had requested paternity leave but it was nearing its end. He would have to find a baby-sitter.

He was tired by the mere thought of it and he had no idea how he was going to pull it off or where to start for that matter. But then he looked down at the baby boy dozing off in his arms, the bottle empty and at that moment, it didn't seem so bad.

0 0 0 0 0

Hyuga children are born blind. The specialized corneas that make the Byakugan possible are slow to develop and require additional months after the birth before they can even function in normal vision. But even then, the eyes are still relatively weak, which is why the 'experts' say a child should not practice the Byakugan until the age of four or five.

Conveniently enough, that is also the time they recommend a Branch child should be branded with the cage seal. It is strong enough to survive the intrusion but weak enough not to resist it. It's not to say an older child could not be branded. It has happened enough in the history of the clan with varied results. However, a young, developing mind can better adjust and adapt to the physical trauma inflicted upon it by the procedure and if the child also learned fear and pain in the process then that was a convenient side effect that fostered obedience.

'Hmph', Hizashi thought bitterly as he rolled up the medical scroll. Leave it to the Hyuga to turn torture and slavery into a science.

0 0 0 0 0

At four months, his son was still blind and a pregnant fear began to weigh upon Hizashi. According to the numerous child development books and scrolls he'd been reading (during those precious moments when the baby was asleep and the apartment could pass for 'not a death trap'), Neji should be following movement with his eyes. Hizashi had dangled toys from side to side, waved his hand, made funny faces, anything that might have gained his baby's attention and got nothing that indicated his child could see. The only time he got a reaction out of Neji was when he talked or sang to him. Then his baby boy would smile and turn his head towards the sound gurgling happily.

He was absolutely terrified to take the baby to the clan medic.

Hiashi performed nothing less than a miracle when he persuaded the council to amend the purity clause in the clan bylaws. He didn't know the details in terms of how his brother did it nor will he ever know what his brother had to sacrifice to make it happen (because he knew Hiashi had to give up something to the council, regardless of how he tried to persuade him otherwise). He didn't want to give anyone a reason to think his son didn't deserve to live; that his child was an impure Hyuga.

But he couldn't think about that now. He had an away mission and he was taking his son to the babysitter.

It was a stretch.

The person he found who could watch the baby while he was away was not his first choice.

Nor his second.

Or third for that matter but Hizashi was well beyond the point of desperate. He could no longer afford _not_ to take missions and his pride would rather have him eat his own gear, shurikens and all, before he asked his brother for help. Besides, despite their sometimes—abrasive-relationship, his former teammate was the only person he could trust outside the clan with this delicate situation.

"Ah, Hizashi! Right on time. I'd expect nothing less from a teammate of mine."

"Gai," Hizashi began warily, he was already having second thoughts as he stood in the doorway of the green apartment (at least it was clean), "Are you sure you can do this?"

"Do not fear, my friend. The fiery embers of youth have prepared me for this paternal moment." And it seemed as though Gai decided to dress for the part. Over the typical green attire, he had tied a pink apron around his front. The pockets were stuffed with toys, pacifiers, teething rings, an aspirator and other assortments of baby items that were either appropriate or completely out of place.

"Right," Hizashi sighed unconvinced but without options. He walked inside the apartment and set down the baby bag. Neji was nestled comfortably in a sling wrapped around his front. "I just fed him so he should be fine for an hour or so," he began succinctly. "I have extra formula in his bag. You should probably put it in the fridge now and not later. He has a little rash so I've been putting this cream on it whenever I change his diaper. Don't spend too much time in the sun. His skin is very sensitive. And if there is any trouble—any at all—you take him to the hospital and you ask for this person." He handed the attentive man a business card. "She understands the situation. No one from the clan can know if he gets sick. Do you understand, Gai?"

If he sounded a little paranoid, it couldn't be helped. It would be the first time he left his baby for more than a day and it was not a good time. What if something happened while he was away? What if someone from the clan found out his boy was still…he began to panic. "This was a bad idea. I can't go. I'll tell the Hokage to give…"

"Hizashi."

"What?"

"I swear to you that no harm shall come to this child while I draw breath. That is a promise." It was an over-the-top declaration complete with a thumbs up and strange light bouncing off perfect teeth but it wouldn't be Gai with anything less—and it gave Hizashi some comfort, but mainly indigestion.

"Alright, Gai," he said as he handed the baby over. It was funny seeing Maito Gai, big man that he was, holding such a tiny babe. Neji appeared almost swallowed by the big hands but the Green Beast was very gentle. The baby fussed softly at the change of hands but his sightless eyes blinked contently and he settled down quickly. "I'll be back in two days."

"And we will eagerly await your return," Gai replied, returning to his more energetic mode of communication. "It will be a perfect opportunity to start training."

"Training?" Hizashi exclaimed. He clutched his ninja gear he had just picked up tightly in his right hand. "What sort of training to you plan to do with a _**baby**_?"

"It is never too early to introduce one to the many styles of physical training," the taijutsu expert preached. "I intend to demonstrate all the proper techniques for building an invincible body. The boy may not be able to walk but he can observe."

"Gai—he's blind."

"Is he now?" Gai said as though Hizashi just shared a fun fact and not an excruciating, pride-killing detail. He looked down at the baby in his arms and appeared to notice for the first time the unfocused gaze, although to most people in the village, the Hyugas always looked blind. "Well then we will have to change up the training schedule a bit. Hizashi, I promise your boy will be seeing with the best of them by time you come back or I will do five thousand sit ups wi-"

"Look," Hizashi began, viciously beating down the misguided hope that welled up inside him at that stupid declaration, "Just don't do anything that will force me to have to kill you when I get back. I have enough on my plate as it is and the last thing I need to worry about is where I'm going to hide your body."

"Erh…right," Gai said a little nervously because given these two men's history as genin and chunin, Hizashi probably already thought that tiny detail through.

0 0 0 0 0 0

But in the end Hizashi never had to kill Gai throughout the many times he baby sat for him—he was competent and willing to do it for free, Hizashi had reasoned forcefully against better judgment-although the time Gai dressed the boy up in baby sized green spandex was a _very_ close call.

And despite Hizashi's refusal to hope, Gai never had to do those five thousand sit ups.

0 0 0 0 0 0

Growing up, it was said by many that Hizashi had a spectacular temper. It was one of the ways one could tell the twins apart, aside from the obvious markings. For a Hyuga, the younger twin was quite expressive, vocally and physically. He did this with no regard for one's feelings or sense of personal well being for it was not uncommon to see Hizashi buck the system with a Main House relative who was just waiting to make the hand seal that would put an end to most arguments. It was simply that Hizashi had a strong sense of fairness and it went without saying that he found the Main-Branch House system profoundly unfair.

He felt it was his duty to challenge the status quo at every turn.

And it often put him at odds with his brother.

But if there was someone who had higher expectations of Hiashi than their father, it was Hizashi. Hiashi understood the injustice inflicted upon the Branch members. At least he should. After all, Hizashi certainly understood it and Hiashi was his twin brother and was far smarter than even Hizashi gave him credit for. And Hiashi was in a position to do something about it.

So it frustrated him when nothing changed.

"How long are you going to be a puppet for the council, Hiashi?" he had challenged long ago. He was young and very stupid and extremely angry. They were sending Branch ninjas out on a suicide mission just to see what the enemy was capable of. There would be no backup, no rescue mission. They were simply throwing lives (Branch lives) away.

Hiashi had said nothing but his expression was cold and for the first time in the twenty-two years of their lives, Hizashi couldn't read him. '_What did they do to you, brother?_'

"Hizashi, you overstep your boundaries again," one of the council members said sternly. "You will show proper respect to our clan leader!"

"Go to hell! I don't remember asking you for your opinion," Hizashi snarled angrily. He just wanted to talk to his brother alone yet there was always a council member around him, feeding him poison and lies. "Hiashi, you can't allow this to ha-"

Then he was screaming. The sudden pain of the curse seal activation drove him to the ground where he writhed in agony, clutching futilely at his head. He never got used to it. Every time it was like tearing open a freshly healed wound and pouring acid inside. It felt like days but it only lasted a few seconds and then it was done. He was lying on the ground, gasping and shaking as residual pain spiked through his traumatized nervous system. He was hot and cold, drooling and weak. Gods, he was going to be sick.

A shadow fell over him and he looked up from the ground with watery eyes prepared to give his best _'Fuck you'_ glare to the one who activated his seal.

And felt his heart break when he saw it was his brother.

0 0 0 0 0 0

It was fatherhood that cooled his temper more than any amount of punishment the Main House could inflict for it didn't take long for him to realize that Neji was special and would soon gain their notice.

His son developed at an exponential rate. In retrospect, Neji's eyes might have been the only thing that was 'normal' about the child's developmental milestones when put into the broader picture. Before he could adjust to having a crawling five month old baby, Hizashi had to contend with a walking six month old who had the curiosity and dexterity of any active toddler. Baby proofing the apartment proved to be quite the adventure.

He moved so well, Hizashi marveled as his son would totter beside him while he did chores around the apartment. It was a slow task because Neji insisted upon holding his father's hand at all times though Hizashi learned quickly that it was not necessarily for support. It was more like reassurance that his father would not leave him behind and Hizashi was happy to give him this security.

By time they reached Neji's first birthday, Hizashi began to wonder if he would be able to keep up.

0 0 0 0 0 0

One of Hizashi's responsibilities to the Clan is to teach the next generation of Branch ninjas. He took pride in his high mission success rate but he was more proud of the fact that his students were also highly successful, so much so that Hyuga branch members are often requested specifically for missions (if the client could afford it). His earlier experience with the blatant mistreatment of Branch ninjas taught him that in order to save lives, he would have to make the Branch so valuable, the Main House would be foolish to throw them away.

It seemed to be working. After all, there was a significant drop in suicide mission orders ever since he started teaching.

But he couldn't go so far as to say he had a knack for teaching. He was very impatient and difficult to please. What contributed to his success was the fact that he was a stern taskmaster and only the brightest and most talented could barely manage to keep up with him. One couldn't help but be good after having Hyuga Hizashi rack you through the coals.

Sometimes he would have to bring Neji with him and he would look up from his lessons to see his son sitting attentively under a nearby tree avidly taking in everything around him or playing with his toys. His son, who was so eager to please him, would wave happily to him while obediently staying where his father could see him.

"Alright, I'm going to show you one more time," he said sternly to the new recruits. He was growing frustrated because they have yet to master the throwing technique they were working on. True, it was quite difficult but Hizashi didn't find that to be a reasonable excuse for incompetence.

It was a simple matter of bending the kunai around the first target to strike the second target posted directly behind it. After four hours of training and several demonstrations, the results were very disappointing.

"Don't plan on going home until one of you manages to hit the damn target!" he said to a chorus of groans. Many obviously thought it was an impossible feat but they didn't dare voice their doubts to their sensei.

THUCK!

Everyone whirled around in surprise to see a kunai embedded in the center of a second target. Hizashi hadn't dismissed his students to their posts so he knew none of his students were responsible. The group parted for him as he strode forward, ready to confront what he suspected to be a Main House ninja who wanted to have a little fun at the expense of his students. So he was surprised to come across his son, standing wide eye and looking on the verge of either crying or laughing.

"Neji, what is the meaning of this?"

"I-I'm sorry, Father," the small boy said anxiously, "I just wanted to try it. I'm sorry. I really am!"

"You did this?" Hizashi couldn't hide his astonishment as he looked again at the target a good distance away. The child was only two. He could hear his students murmuring behind him in equal wonderment.

Neji did not understand his level of accomplishment so he nodded fearfully. "Please don't be mad, Father."

With a gesture, he ordered one of his senior students to remove the kunai from the target. His eyes never left his son who was fidgeting fretfully. "Neji, I want you to show me what you did."

But the boy was frozen. Standing before what he perceived to be his father's ire, Neji looked like he would rather be anywhere than where he was now. The other ninja standing behind Hizashi were obviously disbelieving and skeptical that a mere child could do what they could not. But they were careful not to let their incredulity show too much because this mere child was, after all, their sensei's son.

"Neji!" Hizashi commanded pointedly when the boy took too long to comply. He was growing impatient and on one hand he felt guilt for his harsh treatment but on the other—if the boy wanted to act like a ninja then he was going to be treated like one.

"Y-Yes!" the boy said anxiously, startled out of his fear by his father's atypical tone. Neji took the kunai in hand and turned to face the targets. Taking a readied stance, the child simply held the weapon in his hands staring at it intently. There was a sudden stillness around the boy that Hizashi found impressive for one so young. But then he did something that was truly impressive and wholly unexpected.

He activated his Byakugan.

And sent the weapon flying through the air. Hizashi didn't have to look to see that his son hit the second target again—slightly off center but he was willing to attribute that to the boy's nervousness. Currently, his mind was trying to wrap itself around the now very obvious: his two year old son activated his Byakugan by himself (because Hizashi had yet to even show the boy the proper chakra molding—the medical scrolls all said he was too young!) and showed an unnatural level of competency in using it. Neji's body mechanics were nearly flawless and the branch leader could only surmise that the boy picked up the technique by simply observing his own demonstrations.

He could hear his students exclamations of wonderment and awe and knew that word would quickly spread of this incredible feat. Now he wished he didn't confront the child so openly. This was amazing as it was overwhelming. How was Hizashi to handle this?

Neji was grinning, pleased no doubt by the result. To him, it was probably nothing more than a game, Hizashi thought. The child still had his Byakugan active but Hizashi was beginning to see signs of strain.

"Neji," he called gently, beckoning the boy towards him.

Smiling, Neji made to go to him but suddenly swayed and would have crumpled to the ground if Hizashi hadn't caught him in time.

'_Vertigo_', a detached part of his mind knew this to be an occasional occurrence for those beginning to use the Byakugan. But a fear like no other gripped him as he stared into his son's dazed expression, smoothing out the chakra veins that slowly receded from the child's eyes.

"Neji!"

Neji looked at him or tried for that matter for it seemed he had difficulty focusing. "Father, I-" unfortunately the boy chose that moment to throw up all over him so Hizashi never had a chance to know what his son wanted to tell him.

0 0 0 0 0

"There is talk of a child genius amongst the Branch."

Hizashi sighed, took a long sip from the rice wine he'd been nursing that evening and replied flippantly to his brother standing in the doorway, "Have no idea what you're talking about."

Hiashi frowned disapprovingly. "Are you drunk?"

"Not yet." He refilled his glass and then waved the jug towards his brother, whispering conspiringly, "I promise I won't tell anybody."

Hiashi frowned again but he joined him at the kitchen table and accepted the glass offered to him. "You should have told me," he said, taking his own long sip.

"Tell you what exactly? That my son is not normal." It had been well over a month and Hizashi was still struggling to deal with the repercussions of his son's "gift." It was simply extraordinary what the child could do and how quickly he learned. He will be a phenomenal ninja. But at what cost? Already, Hizashi had seen the other children start to avoid Neji and being the sensitive child that he was, his son had withdrawn, becoming quieter and preferring to play alone or train with his father. "I shouldn't have confronted him so openly."

"How is he?" his brother asked sympathetically.

"The headaches are less frequent and so is the nausea. I started training him because…I didn't know what else to do. I thought the focus would help him cope with the side effects. He likes it, thinks it's a game."

"The council members have taken notice, Hizashi," the clan leader said slowly. "They are demanding that something be done."

"Damn it! He's not a threat, Hiashi!" Hizashi exclaimed, frustration and fear nearly overwhelming him. He felt so helpless and more at fault. If he had been more patient, he could have hidden this ability and spare Neji this scrutiny and isolation. "He's barely three. He's only a baby."

"Whose moving and behaving like a genin, chunin in some cases," Hiashi fired back. "Your _**baby**_ is effortlessly doing things that adult ninjas take months to master. And your reputation as an instigator does not help matters. Your feelings toward the Main House are no secret."

Hizashi pushed away from the table and paced the kitchen angrily.

"Considering the circumstances surrounding his birth," Hiashi continued tactfully, "and this extraordinary ability your son is demonstrating—there are those on the council who feel the Purity Clause should be re-examined and they're gaining support."

Hizashi fiercely stared his brother down. "They're not going to kill my baby. I'll cut off their fucking HEADS if they so much as lay a hand on him!"

"Keep your voice down," Hiashi commanded coolly.

"Hiashi—"

"I said, keep your voice down." Hiashi had risen from his chair and was facing his brother with a stern expression. The clan leader had spoken with such severity and authority that for once; the younger twin did not argue and kept quiet.

"It would not help the situation if you were overheard threatening to kill council members," Hiashi continued in a softer voice. "These walls are thin and our enemies may be listening. This situation requires subtly and diplomacy."

Hizashi's eyes were wet with unshed tears. The anger had seeped away and all that was left was weariness and fear. He hated feeling helpless and yet here he was unable to protect his son. "Damn it, Hiashi. I don't know what to do," he said softly. "What do I do?"

Hiashi looked at him squarely, "You love your son."

"You know I do."

"And you'll do anything to save him."

A nod.

Hiashi took a breath. "Then we should seal him."

Hizashi glared with burning eyes, silent because he did not trust his voice. It took a couple of moments to regain enough composure before he spoke with icy sarcasm, "Do you want me to sign a permission slip or something."

"Hizashi—"

"No, wait," he held up a hand as he walked unsteadily back to the table. "I'm going to need another drink before I can talk about this." He poured himself another drink and rather than sip it, he took it down in one shot. He had lied to his brother earlier. He was drunk but he still wasn't ready to have this conversation. He put his head down on the table, feeling the world spin around him. "If you're waiting for me to agree with you then you better take a seat because I can't do it."

"I don't say this lightly," Hiashi reasoned with a thick but firm voice, "and if you think rationally you would realize that this is the only way to save Neji."

Hizashi rolled his head along the cool surface of the table, feeling nauseous from the alcohol and the eminent future he was unwilling to acknowledge. "It's just so simple for you, isn—"

"And I would appreciate it," Hiashi interrupted in a shaky, agitated tone, "if you did not make me the monster in this. He may not be my son but…this…is the best I can do for him. The council…will NOT show mercy, Hizashi, believe me. If they see a threat, child or no, they will eliminate it. You don't truly understand what these people are capable of."

"So he is sealed," Hizashi spoke softly as he lifted his head, "to what end? That he may live in fear and pain for the rest of his life? It may be merciful to just let him die."

"The end being that he survives to see the clan changed," Hiashi responded earnestly. "He may very well be an instrument in that change coming to pass."

Hizashi snorted humorlessly as he made to refill his glass. "You still believe this miserable clan can change for the better?"

"You use to."

"I've never been known to be a wise man," Hizashi returned as his words slurred together. He downed his drink in one shot. "That's your area of expertise, remember? I'm just the monkey."

"I know better than to talk to you when you are like this," Hiashi said sternly as he made his way to the door. "I suggest you sober up and think about what is best for your son."

Hizashi could not bring himself to say anything for a moment because the last thing he wanted to hear was a lecture on doing what's best for Neji. His hands balled tightly into fists as he bowed his head over the table in frustration. Finally, he exhaled a shattered breath and felt hot tears rolled down his face. "Fine, do it. If it means those bastards will leave him alone, then do it."

Hiashi said nothing for a moment, unsure of what to say, before replying quietly, "I will make the arrangem—"

"I _fucking_ hate you."

Hizashi hadn't looked up when he said the words but they were said with such heartfelt sincerity that neither one of them could ignore them. He wept quietly, angry at the council and pissed at his brother for giving him the illusion of a choice (as if a Branch father's wish ever mattered in these things).

Hiashi said nothing and Hizashi refused to look at him, bracing himself for the sounds of his brother leaving and probably never speaking to him again. He felt a strange pang in his heart at the thought but stubbornly ignored it.

After what seemed like an eternity, Hizashi heard his brother say softly, "Liar," before quietly leaving the room.

And Hizashi, exhausted and drunk, collapsed on the table, weeping with a strange mixture of grief and relief.

0 0 0 0 0 0

His son's cries woke him from a fitful sleep.

And Hizashi, hardly sleeping and always waiting since that day, was up and at his son's side at the first signs of distress.

He found his boy curled up on his side clutching his head as the newly applied seal glowed faintly. His cries were punctuated with gasps of terrified pain. He had rolled off his futon—or perhaps he had tried to go to him, Hizashi would not have been surprised if he had tried—and the blankets were tangled around his small body.

Hizashi quickly scanned little Neji's body for injuries before gently picking him up, blankets and all.

"There, there, Neji," he cooed softly. Daddy's here. I'm here."

"Father, it hurts!" his son gasped through his pain, fresh tears falling as he clutched desperately for his father.

The new seal was settling into the boy's brain like an old house settling into its foundation and Hizashi could do nothing but hold his son and offer some small comfort during this ordeal. His brother had done the same for him. Hizashi had vague memories of his five year old brother clumsily trying to hold him while the pain of the curse seal tortured him; offering reassurances that the pain would go away, that he was strong and could bear it.

"I have you now. Just push the pain away, just like I showed you, Hizashi soothed gently as he tucked the whimpering boy back into bed. He poured water from a pitcher into a basin set aside such moments. He dipped a spare towel into the cool water, rung out the excess and began swabbing his boy's fevered brow while speaking to him in a quiet, patient voice.

The cool compress had an immediate pacifying affect on his son and his distressed whimpers quieted considerably. His breathing deepened and his eyes fluttered, fighting sleep as he tried valiantly to do as his father told him.

"That's my boy," Hizashi smiled gently. "Just push that pain away. You're strong."

It wasn't long before Neji was in a deep sleep, clutching his father's hand to his chest with his two smaller ones. Hizashi was reluctant to let go so he stayed by his son's side, happy to offer his boy this much reassurance.

He was worth it.

The pain, sacrifice and hardship to come…

His little boy (pure and perfect) was worth it.

- The End -


End file.
